capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I need moral support for this bender
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
