...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
