my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
