I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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