ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
