Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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