just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
