I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
