god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
