I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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