Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
