So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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