I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
