sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
