I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
