Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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