Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
