It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
