Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
