Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
