wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
