i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
