Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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