come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
