Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize