I'm so fucking centered right now
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
