Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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