You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
