I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Shame is for Republicans.
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