You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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