I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize