It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
