I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
