If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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