Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
