Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
