Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
