He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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