I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I believe in your delicious
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