no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
