So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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