thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize