After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize