It's Friday. Sex?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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