That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I just sharted jello shots
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
