Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
