Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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