I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
