I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Oh god it's open bar.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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