Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
