I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'd cum for enchiladas.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
