Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
