i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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