Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
