He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
