an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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