Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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