R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
