dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just want nice things and good sex
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
