I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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