I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
